I am waiting to make a friend as introverted as I am.
Someone with a job who showers regularly, anyway.
Once upon a time, I was married to someone who seemed as introverted as I am. We used to joke that “Who Can it Be Now?” was our theme song. We liked coming home after work. He laughingly told me not long after we married that some people at his office were going out, and his first thought was, “I can’t go; I’m married!”
Wellllll… that obviously didn’t last. And he turned out to be not quite as introverted as advertised.
I don’t mind going out and having some drinks, having dinner with friends, or traveling. I do actually have friends. I just need to have some quiet solitude on a daily basis. When I was married, I didn’t really need solitude from my husband much, but when I did, I’d take a long hot bath. What I don’t like is having to be “on” from awakening to bedtime. I don’t like having to work all day and then do something until so late that all I can do is shower and go to bed after. And I like to have one weekend day to just read, knit, hang out, whatever.
And on top of the introversion, I am shy (sans a few drinks, anyway). I’m not good at mingling and unless there’s some kind of structure to a gathering that gives me a topic for conversation, I’m not good at talking to people I don’t know.
Oddly, many people I’ve known, but not known well, can’t believe I’m either shy or introverted. This might make meeting other introverts a little challenging, because if they’re out there they may never think I’m one of them.
A friend joked to me many years ago, “Going out to meet someone like you is pointless. They’re at home in their living room just like you are!”
I suppose I need to learn to strike a balance between a craving for quiet and solitude and the loneliness that can overwhelm even the most intensely shy. I think this is going to be a lifelong project, though. And I think one thing that I have to wrap my head around is that it’s okay if my friends, and even a partner, are more outgoing than I am.
Which would be a good thought to embrace, because almost everybody (employed, hygienic) is!